Kaiba's Amazing Beach Adventure!
by azalii
Summary: Kaiba gets dragged off to the beach by Mokuba! What horrors await him in his duffel bag? And will he run into any familiar characters? (Possible Yaoi coupling later on) CHAPTER 5 (THE LAST CHAPTER) UP!
1. The Humiliation Begins

All right folks, here it is! My first fanfic, EVER: D I hope you enjoy! And if people think that it's really bad, I shall take it down.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, never have, never will. : P

Kaiba peered out the blackened window of his limo, out into the world beyond. What had he done? Why had he agreed to this? Never in a million years could he see himself doing this. Never could he see himself…going on a day-trip to the beach. With an annoyed sigh, he ran his fingers through his thick chestnut coloured hair and glanced at the beaming boy sitting beside him. Mokuba was already in his swimming trunks (covered in Toon Blue-Eyes White Dragons, of course) and grinning from ear to ear. "This is gonna be GREAT big brother! Thanks for agreeing to this!" Mokuba said as he hugged his sibling. Kaiba offered him a small smile, as the limo's driver began laughing hysterically. Kaiba's attention averted to him, snarling. "What's so funny?" he said, daring him to respond. The driver tried desperately to stop himself from laughing. "Nothing sir.." he said, in a very professional tone. _Just pictured you in a bikini, is all.. _he thought to himself.

The limo pulled into the sandy parking lot as the sounds of laughter and seagulls began seeping into the vehicle. Kaiba cringed. Maybe he was just dreaming, and this was all just a terrible nightmare. Mokuba darted out of the limo and raced over to the beach, hopping about madly. "C'mon, Seto!" he cried, laughing like an imp. Kaiba sighed and opened the door, stepping out into the lot. "Have a nice time sir," he heard the driver say, before breaking into a fit of laughter. Kaiba gave him a warning look and stepped over to the trunk of the car, pulling out a large black duffel bag with the silver initials of "K.C" emblazed on it. Mokuba dashed over to Kaiba and began tugging on his hand. "Let's go! I wanna build a sand castle first! No wait, I wanna play volleyball first..no, I wanna chase some old women! C'mon Seto!" he yelled. Kaiba sighed. "Mokuba calm down. I need to change into some appropriate clothes first.." he said. _Hopefully then, no one will recognise me.._ Seto thought to himself. Mokuba pouted. "Alright, alright, but hurry up!" he said before dashing back onto the beach.

Kaiba peered around until he found a small changing booth. With speed only a man late for his wedding could match, Kaiba ducked into it. Unzipping the duffel bag, he looked around for his swimming trunks. Nothing. "Oh this is just what I needed.." he grumbled. His hand slipped on something that felt like trunks. "Here we g-oh…dear….lord…" he gasped, holding up a red Speedo. Attached to it was a note that looked oddly familiar. Kaiba read it to himself.

_Dear Kaiba,_

_We just heard! YOUR GOING TO THE BEACH! Man, and we thought we had seen it all! Well, we just wanted to say good luck. Oh, and here are a pair of Speedos we thought you'd might enjoy. Surfs up!_

_From,_

_Tristan and Joey_

Kaiba snarled and ripped the note up into a million pieces. "Those bastards!" he cried. They had replaced his nerdy-looking swimming trunks with a Speedo! They'd pay for this. Oh, they'd pay DEARLY. But what choice did he have now? He couldn't just walk out onto the beach in his white coat and sweater! Everyone would know it was him! With a very tense and aggravated sigh, he undressed and put on the Speedo. Silently, he prayed for a Blue-Eyes White Dragon to spring to life and squish him. Or Tarzan. Whichever came first. Slowly, he pulled back the curtain of the dressing booth and peered outside. His mouth dropped. Dear mother of pearl, no! NOT HIM! Yugi Mutou and his Yami (which was now oddly visible to the world) were outside chatting with Mokuba! Kaiba could feel his heart race. What the hell was he going to do?

Please R&R! This is my first fanfic ever! If it gets good reviews, I'll write another chapter. : D


	2. Pepper Spray, anyone?

Wee! I actually got reviews! AND GOOD ONES, TOO! XD Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. I'd like to dedicate this chapter to all of you, and to all of my friends at school who just make the weekdays a little bit brighter and funnier! And now, ON WITH THE SHOW!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, never have, never will. Oh, and because you've been whining Kaitlyn, I am giving you future credit for the seagull! Happy now?

..okay, now SERIOUSLY on with the show!

Kaiba stood in the changing booth, rubbing his temples nervously. This was going to be a very very very bad day. First, he was forced to go to the crowded, loud, un-sophisticated beach with Mokuba. Second, those two annoying ticks, Tristan and Joey, replaced his swimming trunks with a red Speedo. And now, to top off that glorious mountain of humiliation, Yugi and Yami were now outside, probably planning to spend the day with them. Well, they were only chatting with Mokuba, maybe they didn't know that he was in thei-"Yep! My big brother Seto Kaiba is inside that clothing booth, getting changed! That one! Right over there!" came Mokuba's cheery little voice. Kaiba's eyes bulged. He'd have to thank his younger brother for pointing him out. Kaiba let out a tense sigh and picked up the ebony duffel bag. This was it. This was the moment of truth!

He pushed aside the curtain to the booth with a single hand and marched out onto the beach over to the little gathering. Yugi looked up and gave him an innocent smile. "Hey there, Snow White!" Yugi teased, mocking Kaiba's pale skin. Kaiba growled inwardly. "Bite me, Princess Puffy," he said as he took a seat in a plastic reclining beach chair. Mokuba eyed his brother. "Seto, what exactly are you wearing?" he inquired, resting his chin on his knees. Yami took one look at the Speedos before bursting into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Yugi tilted his head in curiosity at his Yami, before spotting Kaiba's attire. He screeched and covered his face with his small hands. "MY RETINAS! THEY BURN!" he screamed, collapsing in the sand. Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Blame your two boyfriends, the unicorn wannabe and the mutt! They switched my swimming trunks with.. with this!" Mokuba sighed at his brother's rudeness and helped Yugi up. "C'mon, let's go build a sandcastle or poke angry old men with a stick," Mokie suggested as the two walked off.

Yugi wiped away tears of laughter and sat on the beach chair next to Kaiba. He smoothed out his black and amethyst swimming trunks and put his hands behind his head. "You know Kaiba, there is this thing called destiny.." Yami said, beginning yet another boring lecture. Kaiba popped on a pair of sunglasses and reached into his duffel bag. Out came his trusty can of Kaiba Corp pepper spray. Seto glanced at the droning Yami and shook the can. With a single hand, he reached over and sprayed a good amount onto his face. Yami screeched like a little girl and collapsed onto the sand, clutching his eyes. "DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU, YOU BASTARD!" Yami screamed as he rolled back and forth in the sand. Kaiba merely smirked and relaxed in the chair. He didn't notice that everyone else on the beach was staring at them, and that a young child was crying. "Mommy! That pale man just kicked that wiener's hiney!" the boy sobbed. Kaiba glanced at him from over his sunglasses. "Oh c'mon, he deserved it! Have ya heard his speeches? They're almost as bad as Tea's!" Kaiba stated, getting into a more comfortable position in his chair. Yami staggered up to his feet and gave Kaiba a very rude gesture with his hand. Kaiba was about to say something when the familiar rumble of motorcycles filled the air. Kaiba and Yami whipped around, only to find the Doom Bikers rolling into the parking lot, ready for a day at the beach. Kaiba groaned and slid down his chair. How could today get any worse?

To Be Continued…

Please R&R! Your comments and reviews (and my friend's constantly reminding me) are what keep me going and writing more chapters!


	3. Vogue, baby, vouge!

Wow. I never thought I'd make it to Chapter 3:D Thanks to everyone who reviewed my last two chapters, and to my friends (again). Keep on rockin!

**Disclaimer: **I bet you can tell what I'm gonna say. Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Must I say that every time?

**Star Guest: **Yep, we have a star guest in this chapter! The one, the only.. C. GULL! He's graciously pulled time away from his busy schedule and accepted my invitation to appear in this fanfic!

Kaiba tried desperately to find a way to escape the humiliation, which loomed over him like a mist. The roar of the motorcycles only grew louder as the Doom Bikers made their way into the parking lot. Yami looked back over his shoulder at them curiously. "Hmm..wonder what they're doing here.." he murmured. Kaiba frantically reached around for a towel, or something to cover himself up and hide his embarrassing attire. Somewhere in the background, he could hear that familiar Australian accent. "Ey, lookie over there, mates! Is that…no, it couldn't be.." said the punk adolescent as his question morphed into harsh laughs.

Kaiba could once again feel his face reddening, as Yami's lips pulled back into a mischievous smirk. Mokuba and Yugi were making their way back to the group. "Hey big brother, are those the Doom Bikers?" Mokuba asked. Kaiba gave a curt nod and pushed back his sunglasses. Yugi waved cheerfully at the bikers."Hey guys! We're over here!" he called out. Kaiba fought a strong urge to reach out and strangle his scrawny neck. The pounding sound of the three riders as they crossed the beach and approached them sounded like a convict trying to run away from his inevitable death...grandma's meatloaf! "Hey there Mr. Big Shot," snickered Rafael. "Come to catch a few rays?" he asked, pulling off his raven shirt, revealing a six-pack. Immediately a herd of young girls rushed over to him, giggling and clinging onto his arms. Varon smirked and pulled off his shirt, showing his more ripped self. Another herd of young girls dashed to his side. Alister rolled his eyes. "Guess it's my turn!" Varon and Rafael eyed him and chuckled. Alister growled. "What? I'm buff!" he said, pulling off his shirt. Immediately the two other bikers, girls, Yugi, Yami, Mokie, and even Kaiba started laughing hysterically. Tattooed onto Alister's scrawny and saggy stomach was Elmo! Alister looked around for his herd of girls to appear but instead, a seagull (the one and only Mr. C. Gull!) appeared, and clung onto his hair, pulling it off easily. Alister panicked. "MY WIG! NO!" he shrieked as the bird flew off with it.

After ten minutes of desperately trying to catch the seagull, a bald and whimpering Alister returned to a group of laughing adolescents. Kaiba smirked. Now he didn't feel so bad about his outfit. Varon punched Alister in the arm. "Nice job, mate! I didn't know you looked so girly when you ran!" Alister kicked sand in his face and stuck a finger out at Kaiba. "AT LEAST I'M NOT WEARING A SPEEDO!" he mocked. Kaiba's eyes widened, his fists clenched. He rose and glared at Alister. He was about to punch his face in when he caught Mokuba's expression. He looked scared and was silently praying that his brother wouldn't hurt Alister. Kaiba sighed. His aggravated expression quickly changed to a sweet one. He struck a small pose and gave Alister a cheeky grin. "Say what you want, you KNOW I look good!" Kaiba laughed, watching as the biker's expressions changed from mischievous and mocking to pure horror. Kaiba went back to his seat, popped on his sunglasses and smiled to himself.

To Be Continued…

Sorry if this chapter wasn't that funny, guys! I tried to come up with some funny stuff, but I didn't have many ideas. ' I'll try and come up with some better stuff next chapter!


	4. Oh the irony!

Hey everyone! Yep, Chapter 4 is up! 4! I never thought this story would make it to Chapter 4. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and bothered to read it. You guys rock.

**Disclaimer:** I bet you don't know what I'm about to say. I DON'T OWN YU-GI-OH! HA! DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING, DID YA! Oh and I don't own Mini Pop Kids.

**Credits:** Thanks to one of my best friends (in real life too…whatever the hell real life is anyway ;P) Katdragon for giving me the idea for the tourist boat. :D

Kaiba sighed and leaned back in his chair. The gulls above screeched, as did the sickingly happy little children scuttling about the beach. Mokie and Yugi were listening to a "Mini Kids Pop" C.D on their C.D player. The Doom Bikers were enchanting their fan girls with blasphemy and random stories. Kaiba listened in to Raphael's newest lie.

"So I was walking through the park when I saw a disgustingly lovey-dovey couple. You know, the kind that can't take two steps without hugging and kissing each other. They were cuddling and giggling. It made me sick…so I hit them. Hard. Really hard. Then I ran!" he grinned. His little group of disoriented fangirls giggled madly. Valon rolled his eyes. "Aww c'mon mate, stop talking about Joey and Tristan, you're making me puke."

Kaiba smirked and wrapped a towel about his waist. The unicorn and his mutt may have attempted to make him look like a fool, but he was Seto Kaiba! He was ingenious! All others MUST bow to him! MUHAHAHA!

Seto's thoughts were interrupted by a loud blast of a horn. A familiar horn. A horn from a yacht! Oh no…not HIM! Kaiba yanked off his sunglasses and came upon a horrific sight. There, floating out in the ocean and coming closer, was none other than Maximillion Pegasus. "Oh this is exactly what I needed," Kaiba groaned, running his feminine hands through his thick hair (careful not to ruin his prom queen nails of course!)

Mokuba glanced up at the yacht and grinned. "Hey big brother, look! It's Pegasus! And he's waving at us! HI PEGGY!" Mokie called, waving his arms frantically at the ivory-haired millionaire. Kaiba fought a deep urge to grab his brother and shove him in his duffel bag.

_That yacht must have super-speed..._ Kaiba thought as the boat sped towards them. It's famous passenger stood at the helm, holding his trademark glass of liquor and waving with his free hand. "Oh Kaiba-boooyyy!" called out the child-at-heart. Kaiba kept his head down and tried to ignore him. What, had ALL of his least favourite people come to the beach today? Pegasus leaned over the rail bar and put his head in one hand. "Kaiba-boy, didn't you hear me? I said hello!" he mocked, giving the CEO an innocent look. Mokuba poked his brother. "Aren't you going to answer?" Kaiba stifled a growl. With one hand he waved the tips of his fingers at Pegasus and shot his hand back down again. Pegasus smirked and took a sip of his wine. "My my my, aren't we in a grumpy mood today. Ah well. Maybe that boat of tourists behind me will somehow manage to cheer you up. Toodles Kaiba-boy!" Pegasus said before disappearing back into the yacht. Kaiba's eyes widened. Tourists? WITH CAMERAS?

As if on cue, a huge boat came into view, packed with tourists. A banner on the side of the boat read: "Billy Bob's Beach Tour!" Seto couldn't take anymore. His reputation was at stake! He grabbed the towel and tried to shuffle out of view. Ahh, but Mr. Kaiba didn't count on one of the tourists carrying a very large (and rather shiny!) telescope. Just in case of any desperately embarrassed CEO's were wearing a Speedo and hiding behind a towel, of course! The old man grabbed the captain of the boat and pointed at Kaiba. The Captain grinned and grabbed his megaphone. "Alright everyone, we have a real treat for you today! If you all glance to your left, you'll see the famous and rich Seto Kaiba!" he yelled. Immediately, like soldiers on a battlefield, the tourists lifted their cameras and grinned wickedly. Kaiba froze. This couldn't be happening! Just then, a rather violent gust of wind swept over the beach and carried Seto's towel away. Like lightning, the cameras went off, taking photos of the rich bastard in nothing but a skimpy outfit.

"I'm selling these on E-bay!" "BLACKMAIL! BLACKMAIL, BABY!" and other suggestions of use of the photos came from the boat. Kaiba snarled and pointed at the boat. "WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A PICTURE, IT'LL LAST LONGER! Ahh shit…" he mumbled as the camera flashes erupted from the boat. Slowly he made his way back to his chair and waited for the psychopaths on the water to leave.

To Be Continued…

Hehe, I know, I gotta cut back on the Speedo jokes! '


	5. Gamblin' Man

Aloha! Yep, I'm back:D But before you go on to read this chapter, PLEASE note something. One of my best friends, Kaitlyn (some of you may know her as Katdragon or Milk Chocolate Girl) is in this chapter, along with yours truly! We have this inside joke where we are "married" to Yu-Gi-Oh characters, so that joke takes major place in this story. --' So if you are one of those rabid fan girls who can't take a joke or are easily offended or jealous by this, you might not want to read this. Any who, HAVE FUN!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, or McDonalds! Just mentioning them!

**Shout out:** Hey Kaitlyn! WE MISS YOU! ;; It feels weird now in the group because your gone. –Sniff- Have fun in Miami, AND DON'T FORGET US! CLASS 2003-2004, 2004-2005 FOREVER! WOO! (Oh and Angelina "helped" me write the bits with Duke in it. –Grumble- I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO DO IT! –Sob-)

The blazing sun reflected on Kaiba's raven sunglasses. It had already begun its slow descent into the night, casting the sky aflame. His fists remained clenched as he remembered how those cameras flashed one after the other, like a soldier's gun. His azure eyes averted to his left where Alister was hugging his wig, Valon and Rafael were posing, Yami was seeing if his eyes could grow any wider, and Mokuba and Yugi were poking each other with a stick. Seto sighed and leaned back in his chair. Thank God this day was almost over…

A blast of a yacht horn made the pale CEO jump. _Oh no, not Pegasus AGAIN! _He thought, sitting up and glaring at the ocean. Well, not entirely. A large ship pulled into view. New Orleans style music screeched from the ship. Laughter, the chink of glasses being tapped, all poured from the ship. And at the helm, stood two couples. Two familiar couples. The Pegasus' and the Devlins. Pegasus stood with his arm around a girl of medium height, and short curly hair. A pair of stylish glasses was perched on her nose. Both held martinis in their free hand. They were both dressed in very professional like outfits. Beside them stood Duke Devlin, his arm around a tall girl's waist. She had shoulder-length brown hair and mischievous brown eyes. They were both sipping on daiquiris. They wore more outgoing, casual, yet chic outfits. The couples joked and laughed with each other, before glancing towards the crowded beach. They grinned. Kaiba groaned.

Pegasus gave Seto his famous smirk and lifted his martini up.

"Salutations, Kaiba-boy! We meet again!" he called out. "Only this time we brought company!" he said, hugging his wife, Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn giggled and gave the CEO a look that he could only take as impending doom. Duke laughed and tilted his head to the side. "Like my ship, Kaiba?" he taunted, giving him an innocent glance. Kaiba glared.

"What's it called? Monkey's Ass?" he growled. Megan Devlin clenched her free fist, but gave him a mischievous glare.

"Gambler's Greed, actually…care to come aboard? We're having a partay!" she mocked as Duke pecked her cheek. Mokuba poked his brother.

"Let's go! I wanna get drunk-er…I want to socialize with business associates. Ya, I'll go with that," Mokie said, smiling sweetly. Kaiba sighed. Why had he agreed to come to the damn beach?

Only in a few minutes, had Seto and Mokuba changed into some random business suits and boarded Gambler's Greed. Aboard it's many rooms was a huge casino, meeting room, hotel and spa. And enjoying its many rooms were smartly dressed tourists and gamblers. A bodyguard escorted Kaiba and Mokuba to the casino. There, they spotted a large crowd circling a shiny mahogany table. The Pegasus' stood by the Devlins who sat next to each other awaiting the arrivals of the Kaibas.

Seto pushed past the tourists and glared at them. Pegasus whispered a message in Kaitlyn's ear. Kaitlyn passed it on to Megan who smirked, almost evilly. Megan then pulled back the raven hair covering Duke's ear and whispered it to him. He grinned and gave her a nod, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. Megan slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out a pair of see-through dice. "Take a seat, Kaiba," Kaitlyn hissed sitting by Pegasus and leaning against him. Kaiba did not like where this was going, but he did as told.

"Do you like taking chances and risks, Kaiba-boy?" Pegasus cooed, resting his head beside Kaitlyn's. Kaiba raised a brow and eyed him. He glanced back at the dice Megan held, then to the silver-haired martini lover.

"It's what running a company is all about," he answered, rather coolly. The tourists let out gasps and whoos. The couples glanced at each other. Megan rested a hand on her cheek.

"Good answer, Mr. Kaiba. So then you won't mind playing a little game, right?" she asked. Kaiba gave her an odd look.

"What kind of game?" he pressed on. Megan chuckled and held the dice between her fingers.

"Game of dice…duh. We both take roll the dice. We only get one chance. One. Whoever rolls the higher number wins."

Kaiba tilted his head. "What's the catch?"

Megan smirked. "Whoever rolls the higher number gets to keep their company. Whoever rolls lower has to sell their company, give up their company, whatever."

Kaiba's eyes widened. Mokuba pulled on his sleeve. "Don't do it!" he pouted.

The Pegasus' and the Devlins smirked at Kaiba tauntingly. Kaiba straightened his shirt and grabbed the dice.

"Your on."

The tourists pressed closer. Even the really drunk ones who had pairs of underwear on their heads were watching intently. Kaiba held the dice close and shook them. He released them and watched as they tumbled across the table. The room held it's breath as they rolled and finally landed on a 4 and a 1. Kaiba blew out.

"Hmm, 41, not bad," Pegasus said, leaning his head on his slender fingers. Megan picked up the dice and handed them to Duke.

"No, no, you do the honours, baby," he cooed, grinning. Megan smirked and held the dice in a trademark Devlin way. Kaitlyn snickered and shook her head. She shook her hand once and flipped it out, palms up. The dice tumbled out of her hands and twirled on the table. Kaiba crossed his fingers sweat dripping down his face. The dice rolled. One of them stopped, landing on a 4. The other slowed its pace. The entire room, especially Kaiba leaned closer, watching as the dice taunted them. It finally stopped, landing on a 2. The room gasped. Kaiba's eyes widened. In the background, someone laughed out "HA HA!"

Kaiba fell back in his chair. Kaitlyn and Pegasus snickered silently to themselves. Megan took a sigh of relief, Duke kissing her proudly. Kaiba glared at the Devlins. Mokuba screamed like a little girl in a pink frilly dress. Why pink? Because I say so. Megan shrugged and gave Kaiba a victorious grin.

"Sorry Seto, that's how the dice rolls!" The tourists broke into laughter. Kaiba and Mokuba were escorted out of the yacht, stumbling onto the beach. Mokuba glanced up at his brother. "Now what?" he said, with more attitude in his voice then meant. Kaiba sighed and picked up a random newspaper.

"It looks like McDonalds is hiring."

Two Months Later… 

"Ya, I'd like a ham sandwich."

"Sir, we don't make ham sandwiches," Kaiba sighed, glaring down at his dorky uniform.

"But I want one! And I'm a paying customer!" the man argued.

"Sir, we've been arguing for over 15 minutes, there are other people in line. Please just choose something from the menu…" Kaiba growled, his head pounding, his fists clenched.

"I WANT HAM, DAMNIT!" the man yelled. Kaiba snapped. He grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt and glared at him, hatefully.

"PICK SOMETHING FROM THE MENU, OR I'LL SHOVE A PICKLE SO FAR UP YOUR AS-" he screamed, when he was broken off from the manager.

"KAIBA! YOU'RE FIRED!"

The-End!

Yep, it's over folks :D I hope you enjoyed it, and I will continue other stories, which will of course humiliate and destroy Yu-Gi-Oh characters. You guys have been so great and supportive during the story, and I love you all! Now where is Angelina, I'm gonna kill her…


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